I'm a sucker for a dainty, vintage silhouette... I love this look!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Summary... Please!
I can't believe that I wrote all that in that last post! I think I said too much & not enough @ the same time... the moral of the story is that I think the education system should focus on career choices & training. After the 8th grade, children should be required to start learning & forming some idea of what the work-force entails... what opportunities & occupations are available, & how to obtain them. The system that we have now has essentially created a workforce full of robots. There's hardly ever a sense of independence & innovation. I think that a new system would benefit everyone b/c it will allow children & young adults to determine if they want to become the average US worker, or something more inventive & unconventional... that is all... in a nutshell!
Monday, November 8, 2010
System Overload...
.I HATE SYSTEMS... not to be confused w/ structure... I really do hate systems. & this is pure E-logic right now, but I think that the difference between a system & structure is the fact that structure is necessary... to me, structure is law & order, to an extent... & a system can fall into the realm of structure, but systems can be changed & augmented to better fit w/in a given structure... There is a certain business structure that exists that will tell a person how to start a business, how to raise capital for a business, etc... & w/in this structure is several systems that are used... a hiring system, an IT system, an accounting system... all of these things can be changed to fit the needs of a particular business, but no one can change the fundamental structure of business that says that some sort of system needs to be in place for a given function.
I spent the day being severely agitated by systems... hiring systems, evaluation systems... I could go on & on. Mostly, I hate these systems b/c I believe them to be ineffective & a complete waste of time. Most employers have implemented various personality & reasoning tests to differentiate between applicants. First of all, I thought I could stop taking tests when I earned my damn degree. Second of all, I would really like to sit down w/ the developer of these tests to understand the significance of these tests b/c to me, it seems like they're just duplicating the robotic system of college... a system where you can get by if you know how to take a test.
I don't know... I suppose I could understand both sides of the argument... I can understand trying to assess someone's reasoning capabilities; however, if a company's Human Resources personnel aren't competent enough to judge someone's personality then perhaps the company should hire new personnel. I know, I know... the argument is probably that of: people try to tailor their personalities to what they believe the company is looking for & what the position might require... well hell, maybe the company should hire a psychic... LOL! Seriously, it really isn't that hard to discern someone's personality, a resume is a resume... the information is there, so one should be able to access the success levels that a person has achieved in previous positions, & also how well his/her personality will blend w/ the rest of the department/team.
Hiring isn't a science... there is no right or wrong person in the sense that a company could hire a person that has extensive experience in its industry, but that person still may not do well in the position... an under experienced person may do far better.
But, I seriously digress... I think that my real gripe is w/ the education system. By no means, would I blame this system for any of my failures, but I do look back & realize all of the missed opportunities, & lack of communication & preparation. First of all, I wish there were some sort of system for children, like me, that fall thru the cracks... not that I'm the product of some unfortunate environment, but I believe that all these movements of children that join this cult & that gang... & all these emo & punk-rock groups... these are the lost souls... These are the children that usually have absolutely no freaking idea where they belong & what they want to do w/ their lives... I was fortunate to not be lost enough to join an outrageous group, but I had no freaking idea what I wanted to be in life.
I realize that some schools have all sorts of personality test that can tell you what you should be in life... I think I even took one... I can't remember what it said... something artsy & liberal, I suppose... LOL! & maybe that was my biggest mistake in not taking heed. & maybe all these words are useless b/c I can't complain b/c I didn't listen. Eh... I still have a gripe w/ this system!
I somewhat admire the technical schools like ITT Technical Institute b/c, based solely on their advertisements, they provide on the job training... the education system needs more of this. Children should be exposed to the various occupations @ an early age. I can't remember any instance of a "career day" occurring during my years in grade school. So, other than teaching & some of the other well-known careers, I had no idea what opportunities & occupations were available, let alone the duties that they entailed.
But, I digress, sort of, on that subject as well... what I would really like to know is, especially since I'm basically the product of inner-city/urban/HBCU education systems: what is it like on the other side. How are my Caucasian & Asian counterparts prepared for adulthood & career stardom. It appears that the resources & preparation far exceed that of the systems that I took part in... no, no, no... I'm not one to complain about the unfair advantages that exist amongst the races, but I do wonder... most of all, I wonder why these disparities still exist, & I wonder how I can change them. I don't regret choosing to be a part of the system... maybe it was for a reason... maybe it was so that I could experience it & change it... but, I still wonder... I guess b/c I witness some of the disparities every day... I'm surrounded by people that are products of systems that could probably be considered just under Ivy League (so, I can't imagine what the Ivy League products are really like!) & I don't feel inadequate when compared to them, but I do feel ill-prepared.
& perhaps, it could be a personal thing... where I didn't take advantage of certain opportunities & techniques as I should have. I won't completely say that these things didn't exist... maybe I was too lazy & ignorant to seek them out... But, I must say that I do see the advantages that those systems have that mine lacked... for example, internships & on-campus recruiting... PPA programs... Don't get me wrong, there were some internship opportunities, but they were somewhat inferior in comparison to what I've witnessed in my current position. Big 4 didn't come to my university... hell, my current firm didn't, & still doesn't.
I've blabbed long enough... but, I've said all this to say that I think that outside of the Ivy League, our education system is seriously flawed & lacking. The conventional methods that were once popular & effective, are nearly obsolete now. It's past time for restructuring & an overall system upgrade.
I spent the day being severely agitated by systems... hiring systems, evaluation systems... I could go on & on. Mostly, I hate these systems b/c I believe them to be ineffective & a complete waste of time. Most employers have implemented various personality & reasoning tests to differentiate between applicants. First of all, I thought I could stop taking tests when I earned my damn degree. Second of all, I would really like to sit down w/ the developer of these tests to understand the significance of these tests b/c to me, it seems like they're just duplicating the robotic system of college... a system where you can get by if you know how to take a test.
I don't know... I suppose I could understand both sides of the argument... I can understand trying to assess someone's reasoning capabilities; however, if a company's Human Resources personnel aren't competent enough to judge someone's personality then perhaps the company should hire new personnel. I know, I know... the argument is probably that of: people try to tailor their personalities to what they believe the company is looking for & what the position might require... well hell, maybe the company should hire a psychic... LOL! Seriously, it really isn't that hard to discern someone's personality, a resume is a resume... the information is there, so one should be able to access the success levels that a person has achieved in previous positions, & also how well his/her personality will blend w/ the rest of the department/team.
Hiring isn't a science... there is no right or wrong person in the sense that a company could hire a person that has extensive experience in its industry, but that person still may not do well in the position... an under experienced person may do far better.
But, I seriously digress... I think that my real gripe is w/ the education system. By no means, would I blame this system for any of my failures, but I do look back & realize all of the missed opportunities, & lack of communication & preparation. First of all, I wish there were some sort of system for children, like me, that fall thru the cracks... not that I'm the product of some unfortunate environment, but I believe that all these movements of children that join this cult & that gang... & all these emo & punk-rock groups... these are the lost souls... These are the children that usually have absolutely no freaking idea where they belong & what they want to do w/ their lives... I was fortunate to not be lost enough to join an outrageous group, but I had no freaking idea what I wanted to be in life.
I realize that some schools have all sorts of personality test that can tell you what you should be in life... I think I even took one... I can't remember what it said... something artsy & liberal, I suppose... LOL! & maybe that was my biggest mistake in not taking heed. & maybe all these words are useless b/c I can't complain b/c I didn't listen. Eh... I still have a gripe w/ this system!
I somewhat admire the technical schools like ITT Technical Institute b/c, based solely on their advertisements, they provide on the job training... the education system needs more of this. Children should be exposed to the various occupations @ an early age. I can't remember any instance of a "career day" occurring during my years in grade school. So, other than teaching & some of the other well-known careers, I had no idea what opportunities & occupations were available, let alone the duties that they entailed.
But, I digress, sort of, on that subject as well... what I would really like to know is, especially since I'm basically the product of inner-city/urban/HBCU education systems: what is it like on the other side. How are my Caucasian & Asian counterparts prepared for adulthood & career stardom. It appears that the resources & preparation far exceed that of the systems that I took part in... no, no, no... I'm not one to complain about the unfair advantages that exist amongst the races, but I do wonder... most of all, I wonder why these disparities still exist, & I wonder how I can change them. I don't regret choosing to be a part of the system... maybe it was for a reason... maybe it was so that I could experience it & change it... but, I still wonder... I guess b/c I witness some of the disparities every day... I'm surrounded by people that are products of systems that could probably be considered just under Ivy League (so, I can't imagine what the Ivy League products are really like!) & I don't feel inadequate when compared to them, but I do feel ill-prepared.
& perhaps, it could be a personal thing... where I didn't take advantage of certain opportunities & techniques as I should have. I won't completely say that these things didn't exist... maybe I was too lazy & ignorant to seek them out... But, I must say that I do see the advantages that those systems have that mine lacked... for example, internships & on-campus recruiting... PPA programs... Don't get me wrong, there were some internship opportunities, but they were somewhat inferior in comparison to what I've witnessed in my current position. Big 4 didn't come to my university... hell, my current firm didn't, & still doesn't.
I've blabbed long enough... but, I've said all this to say that I think that outside of the Ivy League, our education system is seriously flawed & lacking. The conventional methods that were once popular & effective, are nearly obsolete now. It's past time for restructuring & an overall system upgrade.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Voting... the new Dior
So, eeeeeeeeeveryone took to FB on yesterday to talk about voting. I'm sure that some people were being passionate & genuinely concerned about encouraging people to vote, but unfortunately, some were just trying to be in vogue. Since this past presidential election, voting has ironically become a new trend amongst the younger generations... but, will the trend last??? Well, it did seem to spill over into yesterday's election.
However, the sad part is: how much do we really know about each candidate, so are we just voting just be voting? African Americans have long been known for submitting the straight party ticket for democratic candidates. & while it's nice that a lot of us are trying to pay homage to our forefathers for fighting for our voting rights, what good is it to vote for one party? How effective is this type of ballot, & are we contributing to the political problem by only looking @ one side... not to mention, not even knowing what that side really stands for.
Now, I'm not one to point a finger w/o realizing that I have 3 of them staring me in the face... so, a quick disclaimer: I did vote. I voted a straight libertarian & democratic ticket. I had no idea who the candidates were, or what they stood for... hell, I was happy to see that I liked the names of some of the people that I chose... LOL... that was cool to me. I had no reason to vote b/c I had no idea what I was doing, BUT... I figured that I should pay my civil & cultural duty to society. & why did I choose libertarian, you might ask... well, b/c I didn't want to be caught in between the republican/democratic war... & the positions in which I did choose a democratic candidate, only had choices from the two main parties. But, I honestly felt like I wasted time by voting & not knowing anything about the candidates... it's like taking communion, knowing that you haven't been committed or obedient to God.
Quite honestly, yesterday's election was extremely important, & I wish the media would really highlight each candidate's platform instead of highlighting the bullshit that these candidates were involved in 10 & 20 years ago. But, this election was important b/c these are the people w/ the most influence... the representatives & senators are responsible for passing legislation. The president does have the ultimate say, but the people's connection & voice lie in the House & Senate.
I really don't care who's in office... republican, democrat, libertarian, Big Bird, Barney... whomever... I just want problem solvers & leaders. It doesn't matter who solves the problem, just solve it... just do something & stop arguing about the solution, & worrying about who gets credit for it.
So, while everyone else wants to walk around w/ their "I voted" stickers like a new Dior bag, & ridicule those that didn't vote as if they're carrying a "knock-off," I don't feel a way about either status b/c what has Dior or any other designer/candidate done for me lately... & what will these people do for me now? All I can worry about, is what I can do for myself. & did voting do anything for me; did it make me feel better about myself... will it do anything for me... I really don't know.
However, the sad part is: how much do we really know about each candidate, so are we just voting just be voting? African Americans have long been known for submitting the straight party ticket for democratic candidates. & while it's nice that a lot of us are trying to pay homage to our forefathers for fighting for our voting rights, what good is it to vote for one party? How effective is this type of ballot, & are we contributing to the political problem by only looking @ one side... not to mention, not even knowing what that side really stands for.
Now, I'm not one to point a finger w/o realizing that I have 3 of them staring me in the face... so, a quick disclaimer: I did vote. I voted a straight libertarian & democratic ticket. I had no idea who the candidates were, or what they stood for... hell, I was happy to see that I liked the names of some of the people that I chose... LOL... that was cool to me. I had no reason to vote b/c I had no idea what I was doing, BUT... I figured that I should pay my civil & cultural duty to society. & why did I choose libertarian, you might ask... well, b/c I didn't want to be caught in between the republican/democratic war... & the positions in which I did choose a democratic candidate, only had choices from the two main parties. But, I honestly felt like I wasted time by voting & not knowing anything about the candidates... it's like taking communion, knowing that you haven't been committed or obedient to God.
Quite honestly, yesterday's election was extremely important, & I wish the media would really highlight each candidate's platform instead of highlighting the bullshit that these candidates were involved in 10 & 20 years ago. But, this election was important b/c these are the people w/ the most influence... the representatives & senators are responsible for passing legislation. The president does have the ultimate say, but the people's connection & voice lie in the House & Senate.
I really don't care who's in office... republican, democrat, libertarian, Big Bird, Barney... whomever... I just want problem solvers & leaders. It doesn't matter who solves the problem, just solve it... just do something & stop arguing about the solution, & worrying about who gets credit for it.
So, while everyone else wants to walk around w/ their "I voted" stickers like a new Dior bag, & ridicule those that didn't vote as if they're carrying a "knock-off," I don't feel a way about either status b/c what has Dior or any other designer/candidate done for me lately... & what will these people do for me now? All I can worry about, is what I can do for myself. & did voting do anything for me; did it make me feel better about myself... will it do anything for me... I really don't know.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Inaugural Post
So, b/c I'm bored & too tired & sick to study for the CPA exam, I figure that I should do what I said I would do in this here space... I'm still not sure that fashion is the way that I want to go, but it's worth a try.
So, to start it all off, I chose the easy route of critiquing... & critiquing a celebrity @ that... super easy.
I'm a huge fan of Eva Mendez... not necessarily her acting abilities, but I do admire her sense of style & willingness to take risks. & while I do actually like the flowy silhouette of this dress, I am not a fan of the fringe. I think the fringe hanging off the arm & even @ the bottom of the dress were fine... creative. But, all the extra in the middle, is just overkill & really cheapens the dress. Unfortunately, I don't think she would've escaped, one way or the other, w/o the obvious quilt comparisons... as it does remind me of quilts that my grandmother owned... but, it would've been a lot more tolerable w/o the extra. I'm almost willing to say that the diagonally intersecting, seam pattern is rather annoying as well... not to mention the fact that the designer chose to randomly place the fabric pattern in the middle of her leg... which further cheapens the look of the dress, & highlights the chaos that is this dress.
Eva hardly ever disappoints, me @ least, so hopefully she'll rebound quickly & triumphantly.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Hmmm...
Maybe, I should tinker around w/ fashion blogging... I'm not into fashion as much as I used to be, but it would be an additional escape... other than the other random things that I post on here... hmmm... & talking about fashion is like watching TV... it doesn't require much brain power!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5... 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... 11, 12...
If you follow the count pattern, you'll realize that it's the rhythm to the numbers song that so many of us grew up hearing on Sesame Street.
If you don't already know, I have the worst memory known to man... so, I often repeat the same subjects... simply b/c I can't remember if I did or didn't address them in the past... anyway...
I never thought that my life would be surrounded by numbers. As a child, I always dreamt of colors, lights, movement, & various other artistic expressions. But, for the past 10 years, maybe more, my life has been surrounded by numbers. I've excelled in my mathematics since elementary school, & I honestly don't mind those numbers. But now... well, now I have accounting & budgets; professional & personal, that haunt me on a daily basis. So much so, that I fear the thought of numbers... I really do... it sounds nerdy as hell, but right now, mathematics would be a welcomed release for me... I keep thinking that I should just go ahead & teach it... I don't know.
All I know is that I'm completely exasperated w/ looking at the numbers in my life right now... from bills to budgets to costs for exams, certifications, & degrees that I need/want to attain.
Where in the world can I run to??? I need a hiding place... QUICK! Not sure if I'd want to go back to my Sesame Street days, though.
If you don't already know, I have the worst memory known to man... so, I often repeat the same subjects... simply b/c I can't remember if I did or didn't address them in the past... anyway...
I never thought that my life would be surrounded by numbers. As a child, I always dreamt of colors, lights, movement, & various other artistic expressions. But, for the past 10 years, maybe more, my life has been surrounded by numbers. I've excelled in my mathematics since elementary school, & I honestly don't mind those numbers. But now... well, now I have accounting & budgets; professional & personal, that haunt me on a daily basis. So much so, that I fear the thought of numbers... I really do... it sounds nerdy as hell, but right now, mathematics would be a welcomed release for me... I keep thinking that I should just go ahead & teach it... I don't know.
All I know is that I'm completely exasperated w/ looking at the numbers in my life right now... from bills to budgets to costs for exams, certifications, & degrees that I need/want to attain.
Where in the world can I run to??? I need a hiding place... QUICK! Not sure if I'd want to go back to my Sesame Street days, though.
Friday, October 22, 2010
New-new...
I need a new start... ASAP!!! NOW!!! Like yesterday, like 8 days ago... I know, I know... I'm being impatient. I'm trying to allow God to move... but, good lawd, I feel so stuck in my current state, & that even if I do move, it's going to be in the wrong direction... *sigh*... give me patience, Lord.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Touche' 'Touffee
I don't know how I come up w/ these titles... but, I did finally cook the etouffee, & I believe I should be commended for a job well done! Eh, I'm tooting my own horn, but someone has to do it!
Cooking has become pretty therapeutic for me, lately... has helped me take my mind off of the jumble flowing thru my head, & just focus on one thing... which I have the hardest time doing... it's gotten me to thinking about pursuing catering or something. Not that I feel like I'm ready, or accomplished enough, to even pursue that avenue right now, but it would be something nice to slide into my back pocket for later... isn't that how most women like Paula Deen & Rachel Ray got started... cooking @ home & decided to venture out & cash-in one day... I'd seriously like to get better @ it... if I ever did pursue some sort of career or business, it'd have to be something small, since I'm such a slow, messy cook!
I've always dreamed of being a self-defined 'Renaissance woman'... maybe, this will get me one step closer... up next: maybe, an instrument of some sort... hmmmm!
Cooking has become pretty therapeutic for me, lately... has helped me take my mind off of the jumble flowing thru my head, & just focus on one thing... which I have the hardest time doing... it's gotten me to thinking about pursuing catering or something. Not that I feel like I'm ready, or accomplished enough, to even pursue that avenue right now, but it would be something nice to slide into my back pocket for later... isn't that how most women like Paula Deen & Rachel Ray got started... cooking @ home & decided to venture out & cash-in one day... I'd seriously like to get better @ it... if I ever did pursue some sort of career or business, it'd have to be something small, since I'm such a slow, messy cook!
I've always dreamed of being a self-defined 'Renaissance woman'... maybe, this will get me one step closer... up next: maybe, an instrument of some sort... hmmmm!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Neeeext...
So, I think that my next three recipes will be shrimp etouffee, an African stew, & bbq chipotle meatloaf... yummy!
I'm a little nervous about the African stew, though... I think I have curry in mind & I'm scared that it won't turn out that way... maybe, I should just look for a good curry recipe.
& I need to buy a crockpot ASAP!! Those things are gold... so many recipes, & you can just dump everything in them... my kind of cooking!
I'm a little nervous about the African stew, though... I think I have curry in mind & I'm scared that it won't turn out that way... maybe, I should just look for a good curry recipe.
& I need to buy a crockpot ASAP!! Those things are gold... so many recipes, & you can just dump everything in them... my kind of cooking!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Chef Boyar-mee
So, I never did start the ambitious cooking project that was the subject of the movie Julie & Julia... a new recipe every night... way too much! But, I have committed to trying one new recipe each week... so far, I've cooked jambalaya & chili... each turned out really good... up next: shrimp etouffee... & maybe red beans & rice after that.
I love cooking, but I'm in desperate need of an expansion in arsenal... & who knows, maybe I'll expand it to 2 per week... but, I am such a slow & sloppy cook... I mean, I literally have to block out an hour or more, usually 1 & 1/2, for the simplest recipes... but, it's mostly b/c I like to take my time b/c it usually doesn't turn out well when I rush.
I hadn't visited in a while, & just wanted to share that little tid bit...
I love cooking, but I'm in desperate need of an expansion in arsenal... & who knows, maybe I'll expand it to 2 per week... but, I am such a slow & sloppy cook... I mean, I literally have to block out an hour or more, usually 1 & 1/2, for the simplest recipes... but, it's mostly b/c I like to take my time b/c it usually doesn't turn out well when I rush.
I hadn't visited in a while, & just wanted to share that little tid bit...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Cock-blocking...
So, I've had writer's block for days... I keep thinking of topics that I'd like to write about, only to get on here, & write about something completely different, & then hate it & delete it... there's a subject that's been gnawing @ me for days, but the things that I want to say haven't fully developed, mentally... not even enough to start free-styling when I get here... & then I have a bunch of random thoughts that are clouding my brain right now (actually, this isn't outside the norm)... I'm sure I've said this before, but I find my "a.d.d" nature to be endearing @ times, but sometimes, it's just downright annoying...
So, hopefully my brain will stop cock-blocking sometime soon... btw, I'm not sure I really like that term... that I've ever liked that term... but, it served its purpose for today's brief post.
So, hopefully my brain will stop cock-blocking sometime soon... btw, I'm not sure I really like that term... that I've ever liked that term... but, it served its purpose for today's brief post.
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Illusion of Power
I'm always thinking of fun/funky ways that I can spice up my life... & this lead to a conversation w/ a good friend of mine about stripping & the likes.
For a very, very split second, I hypothesised about how exciting it could be... but, I quickly recanted this burst of excitement... realizing that there was nothing empowering or fun about this act... @ all.
& I thought of the millions of women that venture into this business, & similar ones, each year... believing that their new endeavor will carry power... buying into the cliche belief that "p*ssy is power." & while there is power in the p*ssy, eventually, the powerful will feel completely powerless, disrespected, & lonely.
There's no real respect to be had when a woman operates under this mindset... she basically lessens her entire worth to one body organ... it's not even a unique organ... p*ssy is a dime a dozen, & it's only as unique & "good" as the person that's attached to it... so, why on earth would a woman allow herself to be guided in this world buy a single body organ?
Certain songs trigger this "secret" desire of mine... I think most women would admit that they've thought about stripping, or the likes, to some degree, @ some point in their lives. It's sexy, it's sensual, it's arousing, it's exhilarating... but, the thought of a strip club is just... disgusting... I mean, I'm disgusted by some of the men that hit on me while I'm out & about... I can't imagine how those same men would behave when I'm half-naked & grinding & gyrating to some Drake, 50-cent, Lil' John, or Ying-Yang Twins' song.
I've never been to a female strip club, but I can imagine that they're not much different from what's displayed on TV & in movies... dark, sweat mixed w/ all kinds of other stale odors.
I was even more intrigued by this phenomenon when I watched "Brooklyn's Finest" the other day. In the movie, Richard Gere plays a soon-to-be retired police officer that hasn't had the most decorated or honorable career or life, for that matter... so much so, that he has regularly visits w/ a Spanish prostitute... very pretty girl; I'm sure the directors chose her to invoke curiosity in the viewer... curiosity about why she would choose such a lifestyle. So, towards the end of the movie, she buys him a watch as a retirement gift... doomed by the life he's created & relishing in the genuine act of kindness displayed by the prostitute, he asks her to move away w/ him... she quickly declines his offer & tells him to leave... he goes down to his car, right outside her apartment, & contemplates shooting himself... already feeling like sh*t, he's just been rejected by a prostitute.
Even more thought-provoking than his misery & desperation, is her reaction... I immediately thought that her self-worth has to be so low that she couldn't even appreciate & accept his request... or, her self-worth is why she couldn't do these things... b/c after all, he was ready to run away w/ a person that he barely knew... he was infatuated w/ the fantasy that they'd shared.
But, why does a woman subject herself to also live in this fantasy... after all, isn't that why women engage in this lifestyle... unable to receive or understand genuine love, they allow their p*ssy to lead the way... they allow men to fall in love w/ this organ b/c they don't know how to get men to fall in love w/ who they are as a person.
So in this sense, the illusion of love & the illusion of power, are one in the same. I can't find anyone to love me, so I'm going to buy it w/ my p*ssy... I can't find anyone to respect me, so I'm going to demand/earn it w/ my p*ssy... that line of thinking is even more shallow than the tragic beauty who believes that she's owed something b/c of her beauty. & for this reason, stripping, prostitution, & the likes, are the most powerless, disrespectful, simple-minded careers known to man.
For a very, very split second, I hypothesised about how exciting it could be... but, I quickly recanted this burst of excitement... realizing that there was nothing empowering or fun about this act... @ all.
& I thought of the millions of women that venture into this business, & similar ones, each year... believing that their new endeavor will carry power... buying into the cliche belief that "p*ssy is power." & while there is power in the p*ssy, eventually, the powerful will feel completely powerless, disrespected, & lonely.
There's no real respect to be had when a woman operates under this mindset... she basically lessens her entire worth to one body organ... it's not even a unique organ... p*ssy is a dime a dozen, & it's only as unique & "good" as the person that's attached to it... so, why on earth would a woman allow herself to be guided in this world buy a single body organ?
Certain songs trigger this "secret" desire of mine... I think most women would admit that they've thought about stripping, or the likes, to some degree, @ some point in their lives. It's sexy, it's sensual, it's arousing, it's exhilarating... but, the thought of a strip club is just... disgusting... I mean, I'm disgusted by some of the men that hit on me while I'm out & about... I can't imagine how those same men would behave when I'm half-naked & grinding & gyrating to some Drake, 50-cent, Lil' John, or Ying-Yang Twins' song.
I've never been to a female strip club, but I can imagine that they're not much different from what's displayed on TV & in movies... dark, sweat mixed w/ all kinds of other stale odors.
I was even more intrigued by this phenomenon when I watched "Brooklyn's Finest" the other day. In the movie, Richard Gere plays a soon-to-be retired police officer that hasn't had the most decorated or honorable career or life, for that matter... so much so, that he has regularly visits w/ a Spanish prostitute... very pretty girl; I'm sure the directors chose her to invoke curiosity in the viewer... curiosity about why she would choose such a lifestyle. So, towards the end of the movie, she buys him a watch as a retirement gift... doomed by the life he's created & relishing in the genuine act of kindness displayed by the prostitute, he asks her to move away w/ him... she quickly declines his offer & tells him to leave... he goes down to his car, right outside her apartment, & contemplates shooting himself... already feeling like sh*t, he's just been rejected by a prostitute.
Even more thought-provoking than his misery & desperation, is her reaction... I immediately thought that her self-worth has to be so low that she couldn't even appreciate & accept his request... or, her self-worth is why she couldn't do these things... b/c after all, he was ready to run away w/ a person that he barely knew... he was infatuated w/ the fantasy that they'd shared.
But, why does a woman subject herself to also live in this fantasy... after all, isn't that why women engage in this lifestyle... unable to receive or understand genuine love, they allow their p*ssy to lead the way... they allow men to fall in love w/ this organ b/c they don't know how to get men to fall in love w/ who they are as a person.
So in this sense, the illusion of love & the illusion of power, are one in the same. I can't find anyone to love me, so I'm going to buy it w/ my p*ssy... I can't find anyone to respect me, so I'm going to demand/earn it w/ my p*ssy... that line of thinking is even more shallow than the tragic beauty who believes that she's owed something b/c of her beauty. & for this reason, stripping, prostitution, & the likes, are the most powerless, disrespectful, simple-minded careers known to man.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
From Red to Black...
It's amazing... the things that are required in adulthood. I think I took a personal financial management class in college, but I can barely remember the material that it covered... I say this b/c I believe that young adults should be required to maintain budgets either in high school or college. Matter of fact, high school students should be required to examine & understand their parents' monthly/annual budgets... maybe, I'll implement this practice for my children.
Parents have traditionally believed that b/c they say something, their children will understand the concept/consequences, & take heed to the advice given, but that's rarely ever the case. I had plenty of adults, including my parents, that warned me about the consequences of debt & the mismanagement of finances... yet, these issues have been my biggest hurdles as an adult.
I've created monthly budget after monthly budget, & w/o fail, each month, I end in the "red"... it's a perpetual cycle that continues to grow & worsen.
So, here I am... yet again. But, I am determined to end this month in the "black"... so, here's to a month of creative concepts in the pursuit of financial freedom & triumph... wish me luck!
Parents have traditionally believed that b/c they say something, their children will understand the concept/consequences, & take heed to the advice given, but that's rarely ever the case. I had plenty of adults, including my parents, that warned me about the consequences of debt & the mismanagement of finances... yet, these issues have been my biggest hurdles as an adult.
I've created monthly budget after monthly budget, & w/o fail, each month, I end in the "red"... it's a perpetual cycle that continues to grow & worsen.
So, here I am... yet again. But, I am determined to end this month in the "black"... so, here's to a month of creative concepts in the pursuit of financial freedom & triumph... wish me luck!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Don't Worry... Be Happy...
"I was too thoughtful to be happy. It was this everlasting which distressed & tormented me; & yet there was no getting rid of the subject of my thoughts." My Bondage, My Freedom by Frederick Douglas
I've been thinking about that quote a lot, lately... it basically sums up my current state. Today, I'm trying to push thru it.
There are so many things on my mind... so many things that I want that I don't have... I don't think I really know how to be happy... people say that you have to choose to be happy... I suppose that's true...
It's a funny feeling/thing b/c I'm not miserable, & definitely not dissatisfied enough that I don't have the will to live (suicidal), but I wish that I could fast-forward on this period of my life & get to the "good" part! The part where everything makes sense & comes together.
But, I know that I have to be patient... I mean, how am I going to appreciate the future, if I don't appreciate the present... yea, yea, yea... I do, so hate cliche sayings, but I suppose that they're cliche for a reason.
I always said that I never wanted to be the woman that puts a time-stamp on everything... "I want to be married by..." "I want to have kids by..." But, I think all the dissatisfaction is drawing me closer & closer to this woman. I don't want to limit my life to a certain age... if I have children @ 30, great... if I have children @ 40, great... I don't want to feel bad b/c I didn't accomplish certain things @ a certain age. I don't want to get caught up in societal expectations & the over hyped "American Dream."
So far, I've accomplished most things in my own time & understanding, so I'm hoping that this will remain true for the remainder of my life... but, I guess I'm getting impatient w/ my own time.
I've been thinking about that quote a lot, lately... it basically sums up my current state. Today, I'm trying to push thru it.
There are so many things on my mind... so many things that I want that I don't have... I don't think I really know how to be happy... people say that you have to choose to be happy... I suppose that's true...
It's a funny feeling/thing b/c I'm not miserable, & definitely not dissatisfied enough that I don't have the will to live (suicidal), but I wish that I could fast-forward on this period of my life & get to the "good" part! The part where everything makes sense & comes together.
But, I know that I have to be patient... I mean, how am I going to appreciate the future, if I don't appreciate the present... yea, yea, yea... I do, so hate cliche sayings, but I suppose that they're cliche for a reason.
I always said that I never wanted to be the woman that puts a time-stamp on everything... "I want to be married by..." "I want to have kids by..." But, I think all the dissatisfaction is drawing me closer & closer to this woman. I don't want to limit my life to a certain age... if I have children @ 30, great... if I have children @ 40, great... I don't want to feel bad b/c I didn't accomplish certain things @ a certain age. I don't want to get caught up in societal expectations & the over hyped "American Dream."
So far, I've accomplished most things in my own time & understanding, so I'm hoping that this will remain true for the remainder of my life... but, I guess I'm getting impatient w/ my own time.
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