In keeping w/ my "back in love" theme, I pose the question of what is the appropriate way to let someone know that you want a future w/ them, i.e. marriage, children, the white picket fence... ya know. Historically, I've prided myself on being the "anti-woman." I don't like engaging in the emotional & self-righteous acts that most women do. To make it simple, here is a list of the things that I refuse to do:
1. search through phones, pockets, wallets, drawers, etc.
2. ask too many questions
3. ridicule "the other woman"
4. argue
5. ask "where is this going?"
6. demand marriage
Very short list, but they're some of the most common. Granted, I'm extremely emotional, as I've learned over the past couple years, but, some things seem so unnecessary to me. But, the point of this here post is that I had a conversation w/ my love last night in which we somewhat discussed our future & what we want. B/c so much has happened between he & I, we'd grown comfortable w/ not speaking too much into our future together; sort of a "take things as they come" or "one day @ a time" type situation. So, we started talking about marriage & kids, & I stated that I really want those things. He in turn said that he didn't think that they were something that I really wanted, & that most women who really want them, say so... repeatedly.
So, there's my dilemma... that the man that I love, & knows me better than anyone else (except my parents, of course... then again!), didn't think that I was a woman that really wanted the "American dream." But, maybe the fact that he knows me so well is the problem. So, must I become one of those nagging, pleading, demanding women, all for the sake of love & to get what I really want?? Is there a balance, or am I forever type casted as the woman that doesn't need a man; an independent woman? & must I make him "unknow" (I know that's not a word) me to believe that I'm just like any other woman vying for a chance @ love & to build a family? I suppose that I assumed that his knowledge of who I was, & the relationship that we've built, would be enough. But, I suppose it does make it difficult to plan a future w/ someone that's extremely lackadaisical! (I hate that word btw, no idea why I decided to use it!)
