What If...

I suppose I'm what you would call "spoiled;" a little ungrateful even... however, the older I get, the more tired I become of chasing "things." I'm getting tired of working to have "things." I realize that we all need some things to survive, but I think we've confused these things w/ the things that we desire... we've confused the necessary things w/ the things that we lust after... & here I am @ a point in my life where I've decided that I need to acquire more education & I'm not sure if it's so that I can acquire more things or if it's so that I can finally start fulfilling my purpose... maybe, a little of both, but I'm praying that it's more of the latter... b/c above all, I'm tired of chasing, desiring, & being defined by "things."

All of that got me to thinking about the "haves" & the "have nots," & how there should be a balance w/in these categories of people...

What if the people w/in these two categories had to switch places ever so often... like 10 years... that seems a little harsh, but still... wouldn't this force people to be grateful for what they have. & wouldn't this give an opportunity to the people that may never have anything... I know, I know... that's what charities & non-profit organizations are for, but it's not the same. I think those that "have" should experience a few moments in their life when they don't have. I think this is the reason that so many wealthy children are so lost & destructive... they spend so much time trying to find fulfillment; & usually, the only place that they know to look, usually houses some sort of material thing.

I've discovered that I'm unimpressed w/ most "things." & I believe that this gets confused w/ lack of gratitude... maybe, it is to some extent. Don't get me wrong, I love to shop & look nice, but most everything else, I could do w/o. & I've grown so accustomed to having certain things that acquiring them has become more of a habit than an enjoyment... which probably also explains the lack of gratitude.

This sounds like a simple problem to solve... & maybe it is... I just hope that I can spend most of my life giving back to people, as much as I've received, b/c I certainly don't want a life that's only filled w/ "things."

Out the Window...

All those warm & fuzzy feelings that I felt last night have flown out the window... I figured they would be short-lived... oh well.

My Heart is Full...

I've been missing this space. I've wanted to post something for the past couple weeks, but just hadn't made the time. I have a subject that I've stored in my back pocket for whenever I have time to for a lengthy post.

Anywho... there are times when I hate love & all the mixed emotions that come w/ it. I've said several times, on here, how I fear that I'll be too stubborn or lazy to find it or receive it... but today, I'm loving love... mostly b/c I feel like it's possible, again. I'm filled w/ butterflies & nervous feelings... something that hasn't happened in a while. & even if these things are short-lived, I realize, again, that I can feel this way about a person. Not to mention, though I've experienced some very hurtful situations w/ another person, I discovered that I still love this person. & even if things never change or get better, it's been a very memorable experience loving this person, & I know that I may never love anyone that way again... there is both beauty & pain in that knowledge.

Being that I'm such a pessimistic cynic, I have to relish the days in which I feel like a hopeful cornball... a hopeless romantic... LOL!