Invisible

Today I feel invisible.... like no one sees me or hears me. & then I wonder why it even matters. But, the truth is, who wants to be alone in this world? & @ the same time, I pity those people who recruit random people into their lives to feel validated. So, in that moment, I decide to rebel against the system & baste in my loneliness, to embrace it like a shield. But like any ego, I look forward to tomorrow when I recover from this self-defeating moment, & fill my day w/ meaningless activities that are supposed to speak to my greater purpose; in which I'm still not sure of.... & in the middle of this self-searching moment, I get an ego-driven confirmation from someone that I care for deeply, someone that could potentially be the cause of this tumultuous moment that I'm experiencing. But, am I validated by this confirmation, is my day made better? Have I overcome those previous feelings? Not really b/c I know that my contentment, my life, can't be based on the actions of others. So, in this moment, I pick myself up & start over again.