I'm always so moved when I attend conferences, whether it be @ work or on my personal time... it's like a drug... it provides a temporary high. But, I normally tuck that high in my back pocket & forget all about it. I think I have a very compulsive personality... & as I left the conference that I attended today, I thought, "I should attend conferences like all the time!" Yea, right! Or, maybe that's the whole purpose of attending church regularly... hmm... that makes a lot of sense.
Anyway... I'm not sure where I want to go w/ my career, but what I do know is that I want to do something different... & I want to provide a service to people, but I'm not sure what that service is... I don't know... I'm thinking... (as the Jeopardy song plays in my head).
I wonder how long it's going to take me to figure it out... not that I'm on a time crunch, but I'm just curious... I'm curious about the next couple chapters in my little story (my life).
& maybe I should start doing that church thing more often!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
No Child Left Behind
The idea of giving every child in this country a chance to earn an education is wonderful; however, unfortunately, the reality is that some children want to be left behind... not literally speaking, but figuratively... I'm only arguing this point to support things that I will discuss later in this post... but, anyway... many children & young adults are aware of the resources and opportunities available to them, but they're too damn lazy to tap into them... they don't want to put forth the effort to excel, to do what's necessary to create a stable & respectable life...
I say all this b/c I know from personal experience... as I've often spoken of, I've realized in recent years that I'm too damn lazy for my own good... my educational experience can be summed up in one phrase, "doing enough to get by." I was often an honor roll student, but I made a comfortable home in the "middle of the pack." I was comfortable w/ a 3.0 - 3.2 range of gpa's... achieving a 4.0 was just too much damn work... not really, but I just preferred to do other things than to spend an extra hour or 2 studying or whatever.
All of this lack of effort has finally come full circle & taken a ginormous bite out of my ass... of all the professions available to me, I would choose one that would require more technical & critical thinking skills than any one other than medicine, maybe... & I now realize that my half-hearted effort just isn't good enough to attain the recognition and financial security that this profession does actually offer... Yea, I'm working towards my CPA, but even that seems like a task that's more than I can chew... though, I'm praying that for once in my life, I can step up to the plate & complete & accomplish something that will benefit me far, far into the future.
Am I in love w/ this profession, of course not, but for an indecisive, aloof individual, as myself, it's the best decision that I've made in my life, thus far, b/c it has forced me to confront my laziness & complacent attitude.
To get right down to it... I'm faced w/ being left behind & unneeded, & it's not a good feeling... I've watched as several people that were hired w/ me, or after me, have been promoted, recognized, & consistently chosen. & the scary truth is that I have no other option @ this point... right now, I need this profession far more than it needs me. & I believe until I overcome the issues that have caused me to consistently underachieve, I'll never be able to accomplish & reach my true goals or passions.
As I've said, repeatedly, old habits die a really slooooow death... but, the first step in every road to recover is acceptance & admittance. But, no matter if it's in this profession or another, I am determined to overcome the things that I have continuously allowed to stunt my progression.
I'm sure I've said all these things before, @ some point in this space... but, writing is a subconscious reminder... I needed a reminder today.
I say all this b/c I know from personal experience... as I've often spoken of, I've realized in recent years that I'm too damn lazy for my own good... my educational experience can be summed up in one phrase, "doing enough to get by." I was often an honor roll student, but I made a comfortable home in the "middle of the pack." I was comfortable w/ a 3.0 - 3.2 range of gpa's... achieving a 4.0 was just too much damn work... not really, but I just preferred to do other things than to spend an extra hour or 2 studying or whatever.
All of this lack of effort has finally come full circle & taken a ginormous bite out of my ass... of all the professions available to me, I would choose one that would require more technical & critical thinking skills than any one other than medicine, maybe... & I now realize that my half-hearted effort just isn't good enough to attain the recognition and financial security that this profession does actually offer... Yea, I'm working towards my CPA, but even that seems like a task that's more than I can chew... though, I'm praying that for once in my life, I can step up to the plate & complete & accomplish something that will benefit me far, far into the future.
Am I in love w/ this profession, of course not, but for an indecisive, aloof individual, as myself, it's the best decision that I've made in my life, thus far, b/c it has forced me to confront my laziness & complacent attitude.
To get right down to it... I'm faced w/ being left behind & unneeded, & it's not a good feeling... I've watched as several people that were hired w/ me, or after me, have been promoted, recognized, & consistently chosen. & the scary truth is that I have no other option @ this point... right now, I need this profession far more than it needs me. & I believe until I overcome the issues that have caused me to consistently underachieve, I'll never be able to accomplish & reach my true goals or passions.
As I've said, repeatedly, old habits die a really slooooow death... but, the first step in every road to recover is acceptance & admittance. But, no matter if it's in this profession or another, I am determined to overcome the things that I have continuously allowed to stunt my progression.
I'm sure I've said all these things before, @ some point in this space... but, writing is a subconscious reminder... I needed a reminder today.
Monday, March 15, 2010
It's that time, again...
Time to get my workout plan together... whether it's Kanye's plan or someone else's plan, I need a good one, ASAP! I had some other topic on the brain, but I'm too tired to remember right now... 3 miles of running took all the energy that I had... but, it felt so good; so glad that I went... Hoping that I can maintain a consistent routine thru the summer... it's not really about being a certain size or losing weight, but maintaining a healthy lifestyle... so many of the illnesses that we suffer from, are caused by lack of exercise & poor eating habits... & also, I still want to turn heads @ 40 & 50! But, it starts @ 20, or in my 20's... so, now! I've done decently, thus far. But, in the past couple months, my midsection has grown frightful... so, I want to take control before the situation becomes out of control... exercising, especially running, is also good meditation & relaxation for me... one of the few times that my brain is talking, excessively. I need to put forth more effort into making sure that I balance my life... & need to stop being so damn lazy, in general... I'm trying, I'm trying... but, old habits die soooooooooo slowly!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Rogue
I feel like I've had this topic before, & I probably have... I swear my brain is like a merry-go-round... & I'm not sure if it's due to my bad memory or just good ol' dejavu that causes me to often times be in situations or say things that have already happened or been said... anywho, someone asked one day, what superhero did I identify w/ or would I want to be... I chose Rogue from X-men b/c she's like a chameleon... she absorbs the powers of those that she comes into contact w/... I believe that this is a quality that I have; however, I'd like to develop it to be a lot more beneficial for me... I believe that I'm pretty good @ adapting to most situations & environments; however, what I don't do well is absorb the good qualities of those that surround me... I have so many examples of good & inspiring people around me... & I often times feel their energy; however, I hardly ever put the energy that I've absorbed to use. It's a blessing to be around such good company... as much as I know that I'm a loner, I also know that I starve w/o real, meaningful human interaction... I would never want to completely shield myself from the world... of course, a lot like Rogue, I do seclude myself @ times in order to revitalize or recharge my powers! & I'm more about quality than quantity, anyway... I don't like being surrounded by a lot of people just to feel important... I'd rather stick w/ 5 or 6 people that I know will enrich my life to the fullest. As I said in my previous post... I am such a dreamer... & I fear that I will never become the girl in my head b/c the girl that stands before me is too damn lazy! BUT, I'm taking baby steps... after all, how does that saying go about the one that wins the race... there goes that bad memory, again!
Hmmm...
So, I've been away... I don't have much to say but wanted to write something... feeling a little inspired... I'm such a dreamer... not many of my dreams have become reality, yet; however, I'd like to think that I'm putting forth an honest effort to accomplish that. It seems like such a long process, though. I don't want to live a boring life forever... I'll get it right soon enough... ok, I'm done typing jibberish!
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