The idea of giving every child in this country a chance to earn an education is wonderful; however, unfortunately, the reality is that some children want to be left behind... not literally speaking, but figuratively... I'm only arguing this point to support things that I will discuss later in this post... but, anyway... many children & young adults are aware of the resources and opportunities available to them, but they're too damn lazy to tap into them... they don't want to put forth the effort to excel, to do what's necessary to create a stable & respectable life...
I say all this b/c I know from personal experience... as I've often spoken of, I've realized in recent years that I'm too damn lazy for my own good... my educational experience can be summed up in one phrase, "doing enough to get by." I was often an honor roll student, but I made a comfortable home in the "middle of the pack." I was comfortable w/ a 3.0 - 3.2 range of gpa's... achieving a 4.0 was just too much damn work... not really, but I just preferred to do other things than to spend an extra hour or 2 studying or whatever.
All of this lack of effort has finally come full circle & taken a ginormous bite out of my ass... of all the professions available to me, I would choose one that would require more technical & critical thinking skills than any one other than medicine, maybe... & I now realize that my half-hearted effort just isn't good enough to attain the recognition and financial security that this profession does actually offer... Yea, I'm working towards my CPA, but even that seems like a task that's more than I can chew... though, I'm praying that for once in my life, I can step up to the plate & complete & accomplish something that will benefit me far, far into the future.
Am I in love w/ this profession, of course not, but for an indecisive, aloof individual, as myself, it's the best decision that I've made in my life, thus far, b/c it has forced me to confront my laziness & complacent attitude.
To get right down to it... I'm faced w/ being left behind & unneeded, & it's not a good feeling... I've watched as several people that were hired w/ me, or after me, have been promoted, recognized, & consistently chosen. & the scary truth is that I have no other option @ this point... right now, I need this profession far more than it needs me. & I believe until I overcome the issues that have caused me to consistently underachieve, I'll never be able to accomplish & reach my true goals or passions.
As I've said, repeatedly, old habits die a really slooooow death... but, the first step in every road to recover is acceptance & admittance. But, no matter if it's in this profession or another, I am determined to overcome the things that I have continuously allowed to stunt my progression.
I'm sure I've said all these things before, @ some point in this space... but, writing is a subconscious reminder... I needed a reminder today.
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