To be continued...

when I'm inspired by something truly thought-provoking.

Kanye's Workout Plan

This was one of my favorite songs on his 1st release, & now I find myself really needing to find my own plan. I'm getting too close to 30 to stop now. I'm one of the very few women on this earth that absolutely loves her body. I don't look the greatest in a bathing suit (I don't know how to swim anyway... it's on my to-do list), but I love it in most anything else. & unlike most women, food is not my hustle. Most times, I loathe food. However, the down-side is that the little that I do eat is hardly ever healthy. But, what is this thing called healthy, & where do I find it?? I incorporated oatmeal into my morning routine; however, lunch & dinner kill my progress every time. Today's choice.... spicy chicken sandwich w/ cheese & fries from Wendy's for lunch & Pringles & a Bud Light for dinner... I know the last choice is completely despicable, but they're my favorite chips & my favorite beer, & as always, I'm not really hungry!

So, people... help me out. I gotta keep this self-love moving. I damn sure don't wanna enter the next couple years w/ increasingly bigger thighs... I think I've already reached my max for my miniature frame.

So... HELP!

Ahhhhhh...

a sigh of relief. I'll be done w/ the client that has ruined my chi for the past couple weeks. & I have fallen in love again w/ XXI (Forever 21, for you out of touch readers!) But, I love that store b/c I'm broke & will be for a while, so while I love love love Diane Von Furstenburg, BCBG, YSL, Gucci, & all the others that I can't afford... ding ding ding, that's just it, I can't afford them. So, I'll happily rock my $20 knock-off & look as fly as the wanna-be video/fly chics.

Anywho, that's beside the point... my stars are realigning.

Star-light, star-bright

Feeling a bit starry-eyed tonight... been going back & forth lately on this thing we call love. & I find it so soothing that no matter how my relationships have turned out, I can still remember the moments in which I felt those feelings for each person, & when they felt the same feelings for me. & while it might seem strange, I cherish it, & it kind of helps me look forward to the next.

Sadly, I can also still see where things went wrong... but, I kind of feel like each situation is bringing me closer to who I'm supposed to be w/. Each person is a deeper representation of the final act, & each time I'm perfected so that things will really work out...

Blah... I don't know if I'm making sense, but hopefully he'll see my light.

Passion

What are you passionate about?

I think I'm tired of the cliche, "I'm passionate about life" answer. While that's not a bad thing, I think I'd like to find one concrete thing that I'm passionate about... a hobby, a career... something. This week has been so draining emotionally, & work was the main culprit. But, it seems like I have no other options right now, so it's like, what am I supposed to learn in my current position, like "why am I here," & "how long will I have to be here?"

So, I'm still searching for my passion. Hopefully, it won't hide from me much longer.

Calgon

or something, please take me away. Funny, I've never used Calgon; does it work? I don't even remember what it is... bubble bath, right? I don't like bubble baths, I'd rather a hot shower. I am soooo rambling right now, but after a long day, I'm loving the mindless thought showers.

My President, My Inspiration

Beauty

So, I realized that I had several conversations w/ myself today (see previous post for clari on wth I'm talking about!).... & one of them was about beauty. I feel like I need to write a piece about this one, but it hasn't all come to me, yet. Anywho, lately, I've been questioning beauty & what it means to be beautiful, & how important or unimportant compliments are. I must say, I enjoy receiving them; however, sometimes, they can be a little nerve-recking. That sounds so extremely conceded, but I promise I'm not! But, it's like every guy I meet is infatuated w/ this thing or that thing about me, & I just get tired of hearing the same old sh*t... I mean, really. & usually, it's about my body, which is quite honestly, the most annoying of all b/c you know what, all they're doing is having some 2-minute fantasy @ my expense. I'm near the point of charging for my services. Not to mention, I'm really scared that by the time I get to the person that I'm supposed to be w/, I'll be desensitized like a male gynecologist. His compliments won't even matter b/c so many other losers have stolen his joy. I've completely rambled, but this has really bothered me lately.

Then it's like, what does it even mean to be beautiful, or to have this attribute or that one?? None of them really separate you from the next b/c if he likes those things enough, then he'll most certainly find it in someone else. So, you're in no better position than the next random chic... huh, I'm tired from just thinking of all this trash. I wish I would've just written the damn poem, then I wouldn't be rambling so... o well, I'll get to it one day. Perhaps this is a little brainstorming.

Speechless

Dangit, I had this real deep, thought-provoking conversation w/ myself earlier (yes, conversation w/ myself!), & I said, "I gotta write that sh*t down." Low & behold, I forgot the entire thing... shoot, shoot, shoot. Sometimes, having a bad memory really bites me in the ass!

Oscar the Grouch

It's still early, but I'm extremely grumpy right now; one of those days when I just wanna stay in bed & not be a participant in my life. I hope this mood subsides, or things could get real ugly. Maybe I should contact Cookie Monster, maybe some cookies & milk will do the trick!

Namaste

My 1st yoga class is today, it's bittersweet b/c I'm extremely sleepy this morning, so I would love to relish extra hours in my bed. But, I have high hopes for the addition of yoga into my life. My biggest goal... more flexibility, loosening up my muscles. So many have told me that I'm uptight, so I'm hoping that yoga will loosen my mind & body.... so, I guess I should start w/ the loosening now, I have about 3 hours til start time... Namaste, namaste, namaste. Btw, what does that really mean?!