Beauty

So, I realized that I had several conversations w/ myself today (see previous post for clari on wth I'm talking about!).... & one of them was about beauty. I feel like I need to write a piece about this one, but it hasn't all come to me, yet. Anywho, lately, I've been questioning beauty & what it means to be beautiful, & how important or unimportant compliments are. I must say, I enjoy receiving them; however, sometimes, they can be a little nerve-recking. That sounds so extremely conceded, but I promise I'm not! But, it's like every guy I meet is infatuated w/ this thing or that thing about me, & I just get tired of hearing the same old sh*t... I mean, really. & usually, it's about my body, which is quite honestly, the most annoying of all b/c you know what, all they're doing is having some 2-minute fantasy @ my expense. I'm near the point of charging for my services. Not to mention, I'm really scared that by the time I get to the person that I'm supposed to be w/, I'll be desensitized like a male gynecologist. His compliments won't even matter b/c so many other losers have stolen his joy. I've completely rambled, but this has really bothered me lately.

Then it's like, what does it even mean to be beautiful, or to have this attribute or that one?? None of them really separate you from the next b/c if he likes those things enough, then he'll most certainly find it in someone else. So, you're in no better position than the next random chic... huh, I'm tired from just thinking of all this trash. I wish I would've just written the damn poem, then I wouldn't be rambling so... o well, I'll get to it one day. Perhaps this is a little brainstorming.