Today was a little rough… I made a mistake on one of my work-papers, & while I’ve seen so many of my other co-workers make mistakes, for me, I feel like it’s different. I always feel like people are judging me because I don’t have the recommended education. I’m sure it could be my own insecurity that’s causing me to think this way; however, I try to stay as humble as possible.
& I find myself wanting to revert back to the fact that I don’t like or care about this gig, but that’s really just a cop out; an escape. Because, truth is, I haven’t found another career that would suite both my financial & personality-related aspirations. So, I can no longer use that excuse.
But, my primary thought is that when I have children, my primary focus will be to teach them the importance of, & how to build a life for themselves. I think it’s frightening that so many people grow up not knowing what their most important purpose is… we spend so much time trying to be happy, but life isn’t about happiness, it’s about doing what’s necessary.
We also spend so much time trying to discover greater meanings to everyday activities, & our experiences. But, I believe if we exerted more energy in getting the simple things right, we would experience more success with the complex things. But, how do you make someone understand this? How do you explain to a young person that simple acts of discipline like reading, studying, or praying will benefit them for the rest of their lives? & not just because they are good things to do, but because the very act of doing them consistently will instill in them an innate skill that will benefit them in everything that they will ever do. How do you warn someone of this before they are even able to fully understand it?
Because now, as I reach year 27, I’m discovering that most of the things that I’ve held true in my life are complete bullshit. I also realize how much better off I would’ve been if my father had a more significant presence in my life as I was growing up.
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