No Pretender

I don't want to overwhelm FaceBook w/ my constant cynicism, so thank goodness for this here, personal space.

It is such a complete shame when I'm not interested in something. I seriously feel sorry for the object of my non-affection...

I had a whole personal example, but I don't feel like being personal today... I'm in such a detached mood today, & sadly, I'm relishing it.

I wonder is it a good or bad thing that I don't hide my feelings very well... most often, my dislike for something... I call it honesty, but I know that on most occasions, it borders pure asshole-ism.

But, this issue mostly affects my relationships w/ men... I'm sure that I've discussed this before. O well, it's still an issue, & I have nothing else to do right now... But, it's so hard for me to show interest in someone for too long... the initial thrill is all I can usually offer. There has been only one person that has held my attention, consistently, for longer than a year. I know that this isn't a good thing, but it really amazes me... & it's completely hilarious @ times.

I know, I know... the cliche line, "when the right person comes along..." & that's probably true, but it just seems like I'm one of the few women that have this issue so severely... maybe not...

& the thing is, I feel like most women just pretend to be as detached as I am, but as the title says, I'm no pretender... for example, a lot of women cling to that "independent woman" status to justify why they are single, & all these other comforting or empowering reasons... & while I am independent & a host of other things, I know that none of those things justify why I am single. Quite honestly, the major reason why I'm probably single is b/c I haven't cared enough to try... I haven't met too many men that I want to try w/; however, that is also my fault, b/c I haven't cared enough, thus far, to incorporate that type of man into my life... I guess I'm wishing that he would just fall into my lap, otherwise, I honestly don't think I will ever meet him.

Now, fortunately, there is a flip side... I am a completely, recklessly emotional, loving woman... when it's warranted. So, no, I am not dead inside... I know that I have the ability to love.

Blah... I hate talking about relationships...

I will not spend any more time than necessary, this year, talking or thinking about a damn relationship... there is no reason for anyone to pretend like they don't know why they're single, or why they suck @ relationships... cynicism is still in effect!