Eat, Pray, Love

I love watching films that inspire me to want to do & see something different. However, it's a little depressing sometimes b/c I'm not yet able to take the year-long, personal journeys that are usually showcased in such films. "Eat, Pray, Love" was no different.

Not wanting to be depressed about all places that I couldn't go, I decided to find beauty in the place where I currently resided. B/c I spent most of my life in the extra dreary city of Detroit, I love the fact that Houston's weather is the exact opposite. Though most people can't tolerate the humidity, & sometimes neither can I, the sunny weather does wonders for my mood. I love the fact that I can throw on a sundress & flip-flops in the middle of October... as if I were living on an exotic island. & sometimes, I forget to take the gift in & really appreciate it.

But, as it specifically relates to the themes of "Eat, Pray, Love," I have been trying to focus on my journeys in those 3 areas, especially pray & love. Like Liz, the main character, I've long suffered from overthought... I think, & think, & think... which is really nothing more than worry, worry, worry. However, as I believe I've mentioned before, I've recently learned how to "just be" & shut off the incessant thinking. I still have my moments; however, I've definitely noticed significant improvement. & since I've gained more control of my thoughts & being, I've also reconnected w/ God's spirit w/in me. It's been nice to share some of my thoughts & burdens w/ Him, & also knowing that thru the reconnection, I will discover my purpose.

Something that I've recently learned/rediscovered about love is the power of & need for relationships. It is so important to build meaningful relationships in all aspects of life. It's also important to do what's necessary to maintain those relationships. & there's so much enjoyment in making a conscious effort to involve various people in my life as well as trying to find ways to ensure that they're aware of how much I value their presence.

I think I've enjoyed or @ least indulged in enough eating to not have to work on that journey. I suppose my next journey is finding the right balance in diet & exercise so that I'm able to sustain a healthy & meaningful life. & Though I'm not yet able to explore my journey in an exotic backdrop, my current surroundings aren't too shabby. & I'm quite sure that every profound principle that I'd discover in the exotic, can also be discovered in the simple.

Eat... pray... love... that may be all I need.

Insomniac Montage

For the record, I chose that title b/c as you'll read, below, I'm suffering from insomnia tonight, & I wrote about quite a few topics, so I had no idea what to title this damn thing hence montage.

I have a terrible case of insomnia. I'd fallen asleep around 11pm, but knew that tonight wouldn't be a good night for beauty rest. I was trying out a gumbo recipe & couldn't get the roux right, which severely pissed me off, especially since I've made roux before. But, I don't know if it was b/c I was tired or in a rush... whatever it was, the cooking gods were not smiling down on me. & what was even more frustrating is that I'm trying to cease the frivolous spending, especially on food, but now I have no choice but to spend money on lunch for the 3rd day in a row :(.

During nights like this, I wish I could just go to 24 & release all of my aggression on an elliptical or treadmill machine. However, I'm severely frightened about leaving my house during the "wee" hours of the night b/c nothing good every happens during this time. & it would be just my luck that I get snatched up by some deranged criminal all b/c I needed to release some steam @ 4am.

So, what's been keeping me up all night? Decisions, decisions, decisions... & waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm not a patient person by any means, nor am I very optimistic. I pride myself on being as realistic as possible; however, most times the realism turns into negative thinking. As I'm sure I've shared before, I often wonder if it would be more beneficial for me to be more optimistic. However, each time that I try, it feels awkward & forced, & that little voice in my head always finds a valid reason for why optimism should be thrown out the window. So, am I causing myself more harm than good??? I don't know. & I suppose to put forth the effort in trying, would be a step outside the old, tattered, brown box.

But, how dare I think that what I want to happen will really happen... does that even work, or does that produce the delusional souls that I, so often, encounter. I don't know.

I heard someone use that cliche phrase about how the race isn't won by the swift... blah, blah, blah... I suppose this thing is called "journey" for a reason b/c every time something pushes you down & makes you fall, you have to dust your old, tired knees off & get back up again... But, I'm tired... can't I sit out this one lap?! Quite honestly, I've sat out for several laps over the years... I'm the runner that approached the track w/ a slow & steady pace... opting for stamina, or pure laziness, over speed & flare. However, all the other runners have left me in the wind, & while I guess I've enjoyed the scenery, I didn't enter this damn thing just to see some damn scenery...

Yep, this was a montage... just like that damn gumbo.

Please Exit Stage Left

Wardrobe malfunctions are the worst, & unfortunately, I've had my fair share of them... my hips usually being the culprit. As much as I love my womanly, curvaceous figure, these bad boys have done damage to many a skirt & pair of slacks. & today is one of those days that could be another blunder... I decided to wear this pencil skirt that I purchased about a year ago... now given my history w/ pencil skirts, I probably shouldn't purchase them anymore. As much as they're a staple item amongst the fashion experts, I've come to believe that the industry is extremely out of touch w/ the figures of real women. For me, wearing a pencil skirt is almost as dreadful as wearing a pair of wretched stilettos from Aldo! & I've tried several variations... w/ stretch, which I thought would be more forgiving, & also w/o stretch. But, no matter the fabric, my hips & butt will always find a way to burst right out of this death-confining garment. So, this may be my last hurrah w/ pencil skirts. As they say, "everything isn't for every body."

The Chosen One

Boot shopping for me is like the average person shopping for a house... & while I am a home-owner, I think I've spent more time searching for this particular style of boot, & boots in general, than I did searching for my home. The most common problem that I encounter is that there are a very select number of designers that will make the boot shaft large enough to fit my curvaceous calves. For a long time, this simply didn't exist, so it was years before I owned my first pair of mid-calf boots... which ironically were purchased from Nine West (see previous post for inside joke :)). So, in the past couple boot seasons, the over-the-knee boot has become outrageously popular, & it has taken me approximately a year or more to find one that would not only fit over my curvaceous calves but also my curvaceous knees... LOL! So, this one by Aldo pictured here, my friends, is the chosen one, & MUST be had ASAP...

My only, sincere reservation in purchasing this lovely boot is that Aldo is infamously known for creating the most uncomfortable, cheaply-made, overpriced footwear known to man... Case in point, I purchased a delicious pair of pointy-toed, stiletto, black patent leather pumps from Aldo, for about $100 (not too expensive, but also not worth it given the following story) approximately 4 years ago. Now being that I have a healthy shoe collection, these pumps were not worn on a regular basis. I'd estimate their usage to be 4 times per month over the course of the 3or 4 years that I owned them; probably much less. So, sometime last year, I noticed that either the soles or heels (I can't remember which one, right now) of the shoes were somewhat unsteady... meaning it felt like that part of the shoes would split in half @ any moment. But, being that I didn't wear them that often, I didn't believe that it would actually happen & hardly remembered the issue when I pulled them out for wear earlier this year. But, sure enough, no more than 30 minutes after I'd arrived @ work that day, I felt the shoes slightly, not fully, break. Luckily, I had a pair of flats in my car that I quickly retrieved; however, unfortunately I had to walk around the rest of the day w/ extremely long slacks folded up b/c I had to switch to the flats... a rather tacky look. So, I've since retired those shoes, & haven't decided if I'll invest in having them repaired, which I'm famously known for... example being that I spent $30 for re-enforced soles for a pair of booties that I purchased from Forever 21 for around $25... yes, I loved those shoes that much! Another example of Aldo's wretched footwear is a pair of peep-toe, ankle boots that I purchased about a year ago... lovely, sexy little darlings... but, when I tell you that those boots signify foot-murder, I MEAN IT! The sheer thought of those boots makes me want to cry... I don't know when I'll ever wear them again! It would have to be for an event that entails extensive sitting!

So, I must, must, must think loooooooong & hard before I invest in these lovely creations. & @ $250, they're not exactly a cheap buy, though I have paid much, much more for the object of my affection in the past. But, I'm a firm believer in cost-benefit analysis where boots are concerned. I don't mind the cost to invest b/c I know that they will be w/ me for many, many, many seasons to come.

Pure Greed

Let the season begin... boot season, that is! If boots were food, I'd completely be ok w/ being overweight for the sake of my affection for this perfect creation... so versatile... so eye-catching, even in its simplest form... w/ the exception of a pair from Aldo, & the ones that I previously posted, these should round out my purchases for this year's boot season. I'm not exactly sure if booties are still "in" according to the fashion experts, but I'm not a particular fan of booties anyhow, & have yet to discover an eye-catching pair for this season.

I will never forget an episode of "Will & Grace" in which Grace's assistant (her name slips my mind, presently) ridiculed Grace for wearing shoes from Nine West. & for the longest time, I felt a bit ashamed of my closet full of purchases from the store. But, as the years have gone by, I can't stop professing my love for Nine West. They're not always my first choice, but w/ each new season of trends, I can always rely on them to produce the most wearer-friendly version on the market... case in point are the newly-discovered gems pictured @ the very top. The style is a classic that can translate into any new season of trends... perfectly trendy in a safe sort of way... which is what Nine West is known for, in my mind... I'll never forget that after hearing the criticism of Nine West on the show, I quickly tried to turn to the higher-end footwear, fashion houses, & was both sadly & happily informed that the sheer discomfort that is produced in a $300-$500 pair of Jimmy Choo's, Christian Louboutin's, & Stuart Weitzman's is enough to keep Nine West as a mainstay in my footwear collection for years to come... which ultimately saves me time, money, & any embarrassment in sporting the semi-knockoffs that Nine West produces. The minute that I tried on shoes created by each of those designers, it wasn't luxury, quality, or superiority that I felt, but discomfort. & I've since ignored most of their design efforts as if they were rejects produced by Payless.

As an after-thought: the second pair, shown above, are by Marciano... they're an option, but I think my craving is stronger for the Nine West version... happy shopping, people!

Cravings

Nope, not food! I'm seriously craving some riding boots... & the two that have featured here are extremely yummy... to me! They look kind of similar, huh?! Ah, but it's all in the minor details. The 1st pair is by Ugg, whom I've never really paid attention to b/c of those gawd-awful fuzzy boots that put them on the map, & the 2nd pair is by Frye, whom I absolutely love but can never afford... these bad boys are about $400, I think... *sigh*...Yes, I already have a pair or two... BUT, so what! I absolutely love them w/ dresses & skirts.

Vintage

I'm a sucker for a dainty, vintage silhouette... I love this look!

Summary... Please!

I can't believe that I wrote all that in that last post! I think I said too much & not enough @ the same time... the moral of the story is that I think the education system should focus on career choices & training. After the 8th grade, children should be required to start learning & forming some idea of what the work-force entails... what opportunities & occupations are available, & how to obtain them. The system that we have now has essentially created a workforce full of robots. There's hardly ever a sense of independence & innovation. I think that a new system would benefit everyone b/c it will allow children & young adults to determine if they want to become the average US worker, or something more inventive & unconventional... that is all... in a nutshell!

System Overload...

.I HATE SYSTEMS... not to be confused w/ structure... I really do hate systems. & this is pure E-logic right now, but I think that the difference between a system & structure is the fact that structure is necessary... to me, structure is law & order, to an extent... & a system can fall into the realm of structure, but systems can be changed & augmented to better fit w/in a given structure... There is a certain business structure that exists that will tell a person how to start a business, how to raise capital for a business, etc... & w/in this structure is several systems that are used... a hiring system, an IT system, an accounting system... all of these things can be changed to fit the needs of a particular business, but no one can change the fundamental structure of business that says that some sort of system needs to be in place for a given function.

I spent the day being severely agitated by systems... hiring systems, evaluation systems... I could go on & on. Mostly, I hate these systems b/c I believe them to be ineffective & a complete waste of time. Most employers have implemented various personality & reasoning tests to differentiate between applicants. First of all, I thought I could stop taking tests when I earned my damn degree. Second of all, I would really like to sit down w/ the developer of these tests to understand the significance of these tests b/c to me, it seems like they're just duplicating the robotic system of college... a system where you can get by if you know how to take a test.

I don't know... I suppose I could understand both sides of the argument... I can understand trying to assess someone's reasoning capabilities; however, if a company's Human Resources personnel aren't competent enough to judge someone's personality then perhaps the company should hire new personnel. I know, I know... the argument is probably that of: people try to tailor their personalities to what they believe the company is looking for & what the position might require... well hell, maybe the company should hire a psychic... LOL! Seriously, it really isn't that hard to discern someone's personality, a resume is a resume... the information is there, so one should be able to access the success levels that a person has achieved in previous positions, & also how well his/her personality will blend w/ the rest of the department/team.

Hiring isn't a science... there is no right or wrong person in the sense that a company could hire a person that has extensive experience in its industry, but that person still may not do well in the position... an under experienced person may do far better.

But, I seriously digress... I think that my real gripe is w/ the education system. By no means, would I blame this system for any of my failures, but I do look back & realize all of the missed opportunities, & lack of communication & preparation. First of all, I wish there were some sort of system for children, like me, that fall thru the cracks... not that I'm the product of some unfortunate environment, but I believe that all these movements of children that join this cult & that gang... & all these emo & punk-rock groups... these are the lost souls... These are the children that usually have absolutely no freaking idea where they belong & what they want to do w/ their lives... I was fortunate to not be lost enough to join an outrageous group, but I had no freaking idea what I wanted to be in life.

I realize that some schools have all sorts of personality test that can tell you what you should be in life... I think I even took one... I can't remember what it said... something artsy & liberal, I suppose... LOL! & maybe that was my biggest mistake in not taking heed. & maybe all these words are useless b/c I can't complain b/c I didn't listen. Eh... I still have a gripe w/ this system!

I somewhat admire the technical schools like ITT Technical Institute b/c, based solely on their advertisements, they provide on the job training... the education system needs more of this. Children should be exposed to the various occupations @ an early age. I can't remember any instance of a "career day" occurring during my years in grade school. So, other than teaching & some of the other well-known careers, I had no idea what opportunities & occupations were available, let alone the duties that they entailed.


But, I digress, sort of, on that subject as well... what I would really like to know is, especially since I'm basically the product of inner-city/urban/HBCU education systems: what is it like on the other side. How are my Caucasian & Asian counterparts prepared for adulthood & career stardom. It appears that the resources & preparation far exceed that of the systems that I took part in... no, no, no... I'm not one to complain about the unfair advantages that exist amongst the races, but I do wonder... most of all, I wonder why these disparities still exist, & I wonder how I can change them. I don't regret choosing to be a part of the system... maybe it was for a reason... maybe it was so that I could experience it & change it... but, I still wonder... I guess b/c I witness some of the disparities every day... I'm surrounded by people that are products of systems that could probably be considered just under Ivy League (so, I can't imagine what the Ivy League products are really like!) & I don't feel inadequate when compared to them, but I do feel ill-prepared.

& perhaps, it could be a personal thing... where I didn't take advantage of certain opportunities & techniques as I should have. I won't completely say that these things didn't exist... maybe I was too lazy & ignorant to seek them out... But, I must say that I do see the advantages that those systems have that mine lacked... for example, internships & on-campus recruiting... PPA programs... Don't get me wrong, there were some internship opportunities, but they were somewhat inferior in comparison to what I've witnessed in my current position. Big 4 didn't come to my university... hell, my current firm didn't, & still doesn't.

I've blabbed long enough... but, I've said all this to say that I think that outside of the Ivy League, our education system is seriously flawed & lacking. The conventional methods that were once popular & effective, are nearly obsolete now. It's past time for restructuring & an overall system upgrade.

Voting... the new Dior

So, eeeeeeeeeveryone took to FB on yesterday to talk about voting. I'm sure that some people were being passionate & genuinely concerned about encouraging people to vote, but unfortunately, some were just trying to be in vogue. Since this past presidential election, voting has ironically become a new trend amongst the younger generations... but, will the trend last??? Well, it did seem to spill over into yesterday's election.

However, the sad part is: how much do we really know about each candidate, so are we just voting just be voting? African Americans have long been known for submitting the straight party ticket for democratic candidates. & while it's nice that a lot of us are trying to pay homage to our forefathers for fighting for our voting rights, what good is it to vote for one party? How effective is this type of ballot, & are we contributing to the political problem by only looking @ one side... not to mention, not even knowing what that side really stands for.

Now, I'm not one to point a finger w/o realizing that I have 3 of them staring me in the face... so, a quick disclaimer: I did vote. I voted a straight libertarian & democratic ticket. I had no idea who the candidates were, or what they stood for... hell, I was happy to see that I liked the names of some of the people that I chose... LOL... that was cool to me. I had no reason to vote b/c I had no idea what I was doing, BUT... I figured that I should pay my civil & cultural duty to society. & why did I choose libertarian, you might ask... well, b/c I didn't want to be caught in between the republican/democratic war... & the positions in which I did choose a democratic candidate, only had choices from the two main parties. But, I honestly felt like I wasted time by voting & not knowing anything about the candidates... it's like taking communion, knowing that you haven't been committed or obedient to God.

Quite honestly, yesterday's election was extremely important, & I wish the media would really highlight each candidate's platform instead of highlighting the bullshit that these candidates were involved in 10 & 20 years ago. But, this election was important b/c these are the people w/ the most influence... the representatives & senators are responsible for passing legislation. The president does have the ultimate say, but the people's connection & voice lie in the House & Senate.

I really don't care who's in office... republican, democrat, libertarian, Big Bird, Barney... whomever... I just want problem solvers & leaders. It doesn't matter who solves the problem, just solve it... just do something & stop arguing about the solution, & worrying about who gets credit for it.

So, while everyone else wants to walk around w/ their "I voted" stickers like a new Dior bag, & ridicule those that didn't vote as if they're carrying a "knock-off," I don't feel a way about either status b/c what has Dior or any other designer/candidate done for me lately... & what will these people do for me now? All I can worry about, is what I can do for myself. & did voting do anything for me; did it make me feel better about myself... will it do anything for me... I really don't know.

Inaugural Post

So, b/c I'm bored & too tired & sick to study for the CPA exam, I figure that I should do what I said I would do in this here space... I'm still not sure that fashion is the way that I want to go, but it's worth a try.

So, to start it all off, I chose the easy route of critiquing... & critiquing a celebrity @ that... super easy.

I'm a huge fan of Eva Mendez... not necessarily her acting abilities, but I do admire her sense of style & willingness to take risks. & while I do actually like the flowy silhouette of this dress, I am not a fan of the fringe. I think the fringe hanging off the arm & even @ the bottom of the dress were fine... creative. But, all the extra in the middle, is just overkill & really cheapens the dress. Unfortunately, I don't think she would've escaped, one way or the other, w/o the obvious quilt comparisons... as it does remind me of quilts that my grandmother owned... but, it would've been a lot more tolerable w/o the extra. I'm almost willing to say that the diagonally intersecting, seam pattern is rather annoying as well... not to mention the fact that the designer chose to randomly place the fabric pattern in the middle of her leg... which further cheapens the look of the dress, & highlights the chaos that is this dress.

Eva hardly ever disappoints, me @ least, so hopefully she'll rebound quickly & triumphantly.

Hmmm...

Maybe, I should tinker around w/ fashion blogging... I'm not into fashion as much as I used to be, but it would be an additional escape... other than the other random things that I post on here... hmmm... & talking about fashion is like watching TV... it doesn't require much brain power!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5... 6, 7, 8, 9, 10... 11, 12...

If you follow the count pattern, you'll realize that it's the rhythm to the numbers song that so many of us grew up hearing on Sesame Street.

If you don't already know, I have the worst memory known to man... so, I often repeat the same subjects... simply b/c I can't remember if I did or didn't address them in the past... anyway...

I never thought that my life would be surrounded by numbers. As a child, I always dreamt of colors, lights, movement, & various other artistic expressions. But, for the past 10 years, maybe more, my life has been surrounded by numbers. I've excelled in my mathematics since elementary school, & I honestly don't mind those numbers. But now... well, now I have accounting & budgets; professional & personal, that haunt me on a daily basis. So much so, that I fear the thought of numbers... I really do... it sounds nerdy as hell, but right now, mathematics would be a welcomed release for me... I keep thinking that I should just go ahead & teach it... I don't know.

All I know is that I'm completely exasperated w/ looking at the numbers in my life right now... from bills to budgets to costs for exams, certifications, & degrees that I need/want to attain.

Where in the world can I run to??? I need a hiding place... QUICK! Not sure if I'd want to go back to my Sesame Street days, though.